For a long time (lately) my soul purpose was to get my word out. I wanted to be a published author beyond everything else. I studied my craft, learned all I thought I needed to know, and received great praise from those who read my scribblings. I even read a book I had published with a totally objective mind and a red pen.
Nancy puts down the sign and leans against the wall. She thinks awhile before answering the interviewer's question of "Why do you write?"...
Getting something on the desk of a legitimate publisher continues to be my goal, but now it is not my obsession. As I read some blogs where the lack of publication has torn a potential (and very well worded) author into a million pieces of confetti, I realized my self worth was also beginning to shatter. My head was aching with doubts of my writing abilities, irritation at the slightest sound seemed to be destroying my creativity, and the ease to laugh, let alone smile was disappearing. I needed to rethink my writing goals.
Though I have hung my shingle, and will write for the hell of it, I will no longer feel threatened, irritated or jealous (just a little envious) of those who shake the hand of what may one day be my agent or publisher. I will cheer them on and thank God for the day when it will be my turn (again).
....she picks up the 'for hire' sign, holds it high and walks towards the end of the sidewalk.